Mustard Stays in the USA.

After a significant rules change, reducing the time limit from 12 minutes to 10 minutes, American Joey Chestnut successfully defended the coveted Mustard Yellow Belt in the annual Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest at Brooklyn, New York’s Coney Island.

Tied with Nagano, Japan’s Takeru Kobayashi with 59 HDBs (Hot Dogs and Buns) at the end of regulation, the 23 year-old Chestnut won the “dog off” of five hot dogs to retain the belt which is the most recognized championship on the Major League Eating schedule.

The event is also sanctioned by MLE’s governing body — the IFOCE.

– Joe Merchant (Matthew Willis contributed to this report.)

Friends. Arrested.

I have to admit, there is this slightest of chances that I might have seen Hollywood’s most recent TV-to-bigscreen adaptation had the cast, crew, and interviewed fans not reached estrogen critical mass.

Now? No.

Let me add that I can’t bring myself to mention the name of this movie, and that I would have only viewed it as a mandatory work assignment or to make up for some horrible transgression against my lady friend.

In the distance, there seems to be a chance for Hollywood to redeem itself, though.

Actually, there are two.

First, there’s Friends, the 90s mainstay of NBC’s “Must See TV.”

Britain’s The Guardian reported yesterday that Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Joey will reprise their roles in theaters. This is a project in the early stages of preproduction, but if Marta Kauffman or David Crane happen to read this, please remember one thing. These characters aren’t twentysomethings any more. As you develop the story, you’ll have to keep that in mind of there’s any chance of success.

It is unclear if T.L. Hanna High School’s and Clemson University’s James Michael Tyler will return as Central Perk’s Gunther.

The second television-to-movie adaptation is the critically-acclaimed (see: “smart“) but prematurely-cancelled Arrested Development.

It’s still early in the production process, but the Bluth family patriarch told an Entertainment Weekly staffer from the Hellboy 2 premiere that the movie has been greenlighted, and the award-winning cast seems to be on board.

Either of these would be a welcome change from the Boniva-bunched SATC cougars punishment already heaped on the American public.

– Alan Wofford

Happy 4th of July.

Let’s remember what today means.

– The OBB