Uncomfortable Moment

Remember the old Mounds/Almond Joy commercial? “Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t,” the jingle went.

Well, there’s a church in Ybor (pronounced “EE-bore”) City, Florida that’s taking that confectionery dichotomy to the next level (and also degenerates this post’s opening lines to 4th grade double entendre) as it brings us, “The 30-Day Sex Challenge.”

Leaders at Relevant Church contend that:

“People are not having enough sex. An epidemic of breakups prove the needs that lead to a great sex life are being overlooked. Dirty dishes, frumpy clothes, and a lack of authentic connections are killing the romance. A great sex life is a challenge and takes focus, determination, and planning. Some say it’s an unrealistic goal, but we disagree. We believe you can have a great sex life, in fact we believe God wants you to have a great sex life.”

The plan is for singles to abstain from intimate encounters for 30 days — even if they are in monogamous, committed relationships. Married couples on the other hand are, shall we say, supposed to work toward a month-long aerobic workout — “exercising” at least once a day.

They will chronicle their physical activities in a journal to track “progress.”

This would normally be something for Bo to write about, but since he would be in the abstinence category for this challenge, and I’m one of the two married guys here, he asked that I post about what could be an interesting month. NOTE: I’m just posting about this program’s existence. I’m not going to chronicle how the Mrs. and I are doing. Writing this is uncomfortable enough. Sorry, Bo.

I don’t remember learning about the Book of Cinemax in Sunday School, and I am relatively certain that the SC Baptist Convention isn’t preaching about this on Sunday night.

In any event (and I promised Bo I would add this since he couldn’t participate) I’m up for the challenge. There. I said it.

Available Web Sites & Downloads:

• 30 Day Sex Challenge
• Emotional Needs Questionnaire
• 30-Day Challenge Guide for Married Couples
• 30-Day Challenge Guide for Singles

– Joe Merchant

That’s Just Not Right.

Once upon a time, Ichabod Crane ran for Congress. He won. He term limited himself out of office.

He ran a few years later. He won again.

He made everybody in his district mad when he criticized the troop surge in Iraq. He admitted he was wrong. People started to like him again.

He was on Colbert’s show. People laughed at him and continued liking him again.

Now he has a fundraiser coming up and put together a video illustrating that he is by far the most tragically white man in America. It’s a great tribute showing that a politician will do anything for a buck.

Until we get a copy of the video, all we can say is go here, and prepare to laugh.

NOTE: To Congressman Inglis’ staff, please throw the video on YouTube (or send it to us) so we can post it here.

– The OBB

POST & COURIER says, “Cockfighting Could Become Felony”

According to the article, “Currently, cockfighting is a misdemeanor with no minimum fine or sentence, and possession is not a crime.”

Hmm. At the very least it should be considered obscene.

– Bo Burdette